RE: Statement of Faith for Biblical Literalists (SATIRE)

An hilarious send-up of a certain attitude among believers… with an important theme

  • ARTICLE I: One day = six days

    Genesis 1:1-2:3 says God completed the creation of the heavens and earth in six days. Genesis 2:4 speaks of the (single) day in which God made the earth and the heavens.

    ARTICLE II: A circle has four corners

    In Isaiah 40:22 the earth is said to be a circle. Elsewhere (e.g. Isaiah 11:12; Job 37:3; Revelation 7:1; 20:8), the Bible speaks of the 'four corners of the Earth'. Both are true, and both must be taken literally; ergo, a circle has four corners.

    ARTICLE III: Before = after
    (etc…)

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3 thoughts on “RE: Statement of Faith for Biblical Literalists (SATIRE)

  1. Not to ignore the professor’s humorous point… but I was just reading a write-up of Einstein’s breakthrough in relativity that had some similarities.

    “Einstein abstracted just two very broad regularities about the physical world: that is that the laws of physics should look the same if you’re moving at a constant velocity, and that the speed of light should be a universal constant.”

    Putting those two “regularities” required something nearly as radical as proving that a circle has four corners…

  2. * Step 1: Let a=b.
    * Step 2: a*a = a*b,
    * Step 3: a*a + a*a = a*a + a*b,
    * Step 4: 2(a*a) = a*a + a*b,
    * Step 5: 2(a*a) – 2a*b = a*a + a*b – 2ab,
    * Step 6: 2(a*a-ab) = a*a – ab
    * Step 7: So 2(a*a-ab) = 1(a*a – ab)
    * Step 8: Cancelling out (a*a-ab) from both sides gives 1=2.

    (Not my own… but I loved it when I first heard it at age 13!)

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